Courage to Pursue: A Poem where Disney songs were my solace.
When I was a child, I found a lot of solace when listening to Disney songs back before I discovered music that was darker and contained cuss words. I actually do not listen to much music today, and I contribute that to over listening to Alanis Morissettee, Matchbox 20, then a little bit later that turned in to listening to mostly rap. I associate listening to music to some of my darkest times, and it is just recently that I started listening to music again, when I am in the mood, and my parrot Chicken wants to dance.
As a child, I listened to music when I was angry to help calm me down. I used to fiercely sing "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morissette and "Damn" by Matchbox 20 (two artists I was not supposed to be listening to due to the adult content, aka cuss words). I actually know every song on both of those two albums I listened to them on repeat multiple times a day to block out what was going on in my life at that point in time.
As I listen to these two songs right now while I am writing this, I am not too sure what I was relating to expect the anger that comes across in these songs and being in middle school and using the forbidden words "fuck" and "damn".
Well before I found these songs, Disney songs were my jam. One, it what was played in the car when my dad picked my sister and I up every other weekend. Hey, it was better than the country music that my dad listened to! Such as the painful song that went something like"Counting Flowers on the Wall.....that don't bother me at all....playing solitaire until dawn....with a deck of 51". Trust me, any Disney song was better than old fashioned country.
Disney songs gave me hope, as most of them were about overcoming challenges and meeting Prince Charming. Disney movies as well as Disney songs allowed my childhood self to fantasize and let my imagination run.
This poem makes me laugh because there are a lot of words from Disney songs. Why does that make me laugh though? Because I hesitated to post this poem, for fear of copywriting issues. But for those of you that knew me as a child or have heard me sing as an adult, know that I am terrible about remembering lyrics and it hilariously shows in this poem. I am not even sure all these songs are Disney actually, but they were all the songs that I would listen to as a child. :)
If anyone that is family reading this, you probably remember me singing "One Jump ahead of *mumbles something* One jump over the *mumbles something else* All I gotta do is jump!" I am not sure why that song was constantly stuck in my head, but I never memorized the lyrics, like most of the music I listen to.
Courage to Pursue
By: Susan Evans
Dissociation or daydream?
Escaping to a fantasy world
A break from reality
A break from the scared little girl
A perfect world I created
No strings to hold me down
Childlike laughter
No terror to make me frown
A magical place
I never knew
A whole new world
Where my imagination grew
That’s what friends are for!
When you are lost in dire need
No one to turn to
They are there within lighting speed
There is something sweet and almost kind
But new and a bit alarming
This never came to mind
That I could meet Princess Charming
Who is that girl I see
Staring back at me
When will the world know?
Who I am inside?
One jump ahead of my doom
One jump over the hump
Better throw my head in, wish me a happy ending
All I gotta do is jump!
Decades of denial
Is why I will
Never be despaired
Be, prepared!