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Survival: A Poem about how we are conditioned from the womb for our environment

I particularly like this poem as it spoke very deeply to me. Like all my poems, these are very personal to me and my journey. I feel that this poem is my subconscious putting it in to words for my logical conscious mind to understand the "why" behind the way that we were growing up.

I learned in multiple books that I have read that even when you are in the womb, you are already being prepared for the outside world. If your mother is in a high stress environment, the elevated cortisol in the mother's body prepares her newborn for the turbulent road ahead.

That isn't to say that all babies that are quiet and quote on quote "good" babies came from households where domestic violence is likely, it is just to say that science is amazing and this is one of the earliest survival tools to prepare a newborn for a high stress environment.

Even though science was my least favorite subject in school, as an adult I find it fascinating and read a lot of books about research and science today. I enjoy learning about the way our body works as part of holistically healing. I have found that my own body has been wrecked by prolonged high cortisol levels that took several years of undoing all the damage that I had unintentionally caused myself. There is a lot of truth behind childhood trauma, autoimmune diseases, and the effects of your body protecting itself which in return manifested in to health issues.

If you are experiencing multiple health issues or have been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, I encourage you to learn how childhood trauma is at the root of those issues so you can begin your journey of healing your body.

The prevalence of autoimmune diseases have been steadily increasing. Do you know what else has been increasing at approximately the same rate? Mental health issues. Research conducted over the last several decades on adverse childhood events (ACEs) have been proven to manifest in a variety of illnesses later on in life. I won't go into this now, but in a future blog, I will touch on why it is so important to treat your "whole self" and not just look narrowly at the diagnosis or disease that you now have.

This is one of the many reasons that I am against taking medications, because pills just manage the symptoms and don't actually go deep enough to cure you. Do you want to take pills the rest of your life or do you want to be cured? If you want to be cured, then you need to start with when you were in the womb.



By: Susan Evans

Rage under water

Racing heart beat

Cortisol fed umbilical cord

A programmed fetus

Prepares for arrival

A baby that does not cry

Sleeping for long stints

A quiet baby

A good baby

Conditioned for survival

Observes the world

Listens intently

Big eyes

Big ears

Being invisible is vital

Hurting child within

Doesn’t quite fit in

A lot to say

No one to listen

Suffering from deprival

Help. No one can see me

Help. No one hears me

Life on repeat

Anger sets in

A raging teen spirals

Fear filled decisions

Feeling of losing control

Damaged goods


Baby steps towards revival

Acknowledging the past was for survival

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